How to Survive Valentine’s Day While Single

1. Sob into the bathtub with the lights off.  

A bathtub with the lights turned off is a great place to sob in. Lock the door, and pretend to take a shower so no one knows. Curl up with a pillow in the bathtub and let the tears slide down to the drain.

2. Order chocolates and pretend to have a secret admirer.

Make the neighbors jealous by having a huge bouquet of flowers and boxes of chocolate delivered to the front door, or pay someone to stick fake love notes in the mailbox.

3. Suck all the helium out of all of your friends’ balloons.

Run around stealing friends’ balloons and suck out the helium. Friends can’t be mad when they see their deflated balloons flopping around in the wind.

4. Bake broken heart cookies.

Baking makes anyone feel better, especially when they are in the shape of a broken heart. Red and black frosting makes a bittersweet cookie.

5. Play video games.

Flying off into the fantasy world to escape the sadness of being lonely on Valentine’s day is great. Running away from video game monsters is always better than running away from being lonely on the holiday of love.