Elves Strike Weeks Before Christmas

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Santa Clause has been looking all over the North Pole, but he hasn’t been able to find any of his elves. Clause claims that he hasn’t seen them since December 1st. 

A few of the elves were supposed to leave on December 1st to watch children and report back to him, but it seems as if all of the elves left.

 He tried sending them text messages but they wouldn’t reply. Late last night, Santa called them, and he finally got an answer. 

“Yo, Santa, us elves all really like it down here in these houses. We really don’t want to come back to the North Pole. The people here are way nicer than you. Not Mrs. C though, she’s pretty awesome. But, these people give us candy, and you just give us vegetables. So, we’re going to stay here,” Jeffrey*, Santa’s shift manager elf, said. *We have changed the names of these elves to protect their identities.

The elves also complained about poor working conditions. 

“This is no way for us elves to live. We shouldn’t have to live in one place. We should be able to live wherever the heck we want. And if that jolly red fatso says any different, then he can hire someone else,” JimBob, wrapping director elf, said

The elves have been posting on Snapchat, Instagram, and Twitter about how they will strike if Clause doesn’t give them more rights.

Clause isn’t impressed with the elves’ actions. 

“The elves are so ungrateful for everything I’ve given them. And now they’re posting on Face-Snap, and the Tweeter, and such about how they’re gonna’ do this and that. Pshhhh they’re not that special,” Santa Clause said.

Although the elves enjoyed the homes of children all over the world, Mr. Clause has persuaded them to return home. According to Clause, the elves can stay in the homes until the 16th, then they have to return to the North Pole. 

“If the elves don’t get back up here to the North Pole, there’s not gonna’ be any Christmas toys for anyone. The elves should not be supported in their behavior. If you have an elf staying in your home, I ask that you encourage it to return to the North Pole,” Clause, said.

Clause said he will send out the pest-control to round up stubborn elves who refuse to return by the deadline.